Epistle For a Mentch

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THE COLLECTED WRITINGS OF RABBI PINKY SCHMECKELSTEIN

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Epistle For a Mentch,

Shtayt in the Gemarrah, “Hamevoreich Ess Chaveiroi BiPharhesia, KeilIlui Boirei Ess HaOilam Kooloi”. The Talmud states, “One who blesses his friend in public, it is as if he has created the entire world”.

I would like to share a few words about a Gadol as we approach his first Yahrtzeit. A Talmud Chacham, a friend, a loyal companion, his presence always made others feel spiritually, emotionally and physically secure, except when he was distracted by the occasional passing truck. Or a squirrel.

As is the Minhag with every great Ben Toirah, we do not offer a Hespaid at the funeral, but wait until at least the Shloshim to share remembrances. So, now, nearly one year later, in the midst of a global health crisis that likes of which has not been seen in one hundred years since the Spanish Influenza of 1918, we celebrate his life and try to find meaning and inspiration for ourselves.

Shoyn.

Reb Shmiel Kalbasavuah was born in the Deep South. His father was a Tzaddik, a Lamud Vuvnik and a Goimel Chessed, who had a very full beard and a spectacular sense of smell. And his mother was a short haired bitch.

Reb Shmiel spent his youth with his Sephardic family. When tensions arose after the family ate Kitniyois on Shavuos, young Reb Shmiel increasingly spent his time in Bais Medrish. He spent many hours a day in the company of other Talmidim, Shteiging together. In addition to becoming masters in Toirah, they proved themselves to be committed and obedient students. He enjoyed his time there: It was Mamish Gevaldik to watch him with other Talmidim, going back and forth throughout the day pursuing issues large and small. And his commitment was recognized and rewarded; after completion of his studies, Reb Shmiel was certified with Smicha in Yora Yora, Yadin Yadin, and Roll Oiver.

When Rebbetzin Feigeh Breinah and I first met Reb Shmiel, he was looking for a place to settle. “Lech Lecha, MeArtzecha”, he had left his home to venture north to the heart of the Promised Land: Boro Park.

Our initial meeting was awkward. Reb Shmiel seemed hesitant when I first approached him. We met in a public area. I walked slowly, my large beard blowing in the wind, my Payis swinging side to side. He looked nervous and anxious, like a Bar Mitzvah Bochur before reciting Kriyas HaToirah or a Kallah Meidel before her wedding night,

Reb Shmiel and I came to know each other over time and had many deep discussions over long walks: Parshas Hashavuah. Gemarrah BeIyun. Daf Yoimi. Hilchois Shabbos. RAMBAM. The RAMBAN. The ROISH. The RI. The RIF, The RUFF. And then some light topics like the Mishnah Berurah, Igrois Moishe, and Art Scroll’s Illustrated Halacha Series For Children Hosted By Heshy, the Magical Flying Parah Aduma. But also current events.

Sometimes we would meet others, and Reb Shmiel made a few friends. His studious and serious demeanor could at times be perceived as humorless and austere. But at his core he had a warm soul, even if what most people saw was a cold nose.

Reb Shmiel had many interests. He liked to learn Toirah, and to do acts of Gemilus Chassadim. He loved to learn BiChavrusa, but was also comfortable being alone. He loved nature, as it made him feel closer to the Aimishteh. His favorite Mitzvah, perhaps the one that he has most remembered for, was his commitment to sustainability. He hated waste, and his personal mission was to prevent Baal Tashchis; he hated when even a morsel or scrap or food would go to waste. So he always ate everyone’s leftovers. He even once ate a bagel on Pesach that he found in the street in one bite. Yes, he was Oiver in a Dioraisa, but his intention was Biyur Chometz, the destruction of the offensive food; Achilah was purely incidental. What Mesiras Nefesh! What a Tzaddik!

Reb Shmiel was knowledgeable about many areas of Toirah. He loved learning Halacha as well as Gemara. He also loved learning TANACH with traditional and modern scholarship. In his learning, he excelled at understanding complex ideas expressed as very simple statements. For example - Reb Shmiel never needed to prepare for Shabbos with the same fanfare as other Talmidim. One word was always enough, especially if the word was “sit”.

Reb Shmiel was a true Buckie, a deep expert, in Halachois associated with smells. “When I open a bottle of peppercorns, am I allowed to smell them without saying a ‘Boirei Minei Besamim?’” “Is that a new smell? Shall I make a SheHechiyanu?” “Was there someone here before?” “Are there leftovers nearby that I can save from going to waste?” “Did someone pee on that tree?”

Reb Shmiel was once walking with my daughter Bracha Levatala when they were accidentally hit by a car driven by our neighbor, Rabbi Schwartz. As Bracha was on the ground, Reb Shmiel, his Tfillin hand mutilated, stayed with Brachalah until the local Hatzolah ambulance came to her aid. Reb Shmiel then underwent complicated surgery and experienced a full recovery. Always a Tzaddik, Reb Shmiel quickly forgave Rabbi Dr. Schwartz for the accident, although he would occasionally make Pishvasser on his shrubbery.

Reb Shmiel is perhaps best remembered for his dynamic Machlokessin with Reb Yoissaiph Katzky. They often took very opposite approaches in their Halachic philosophies. For example, Reb Shmiel believed that on Sukkois, one should spend every possible waking moment in the Sukkah, as long as there was food on the table. Or on the floor. But Reb Yoisaiph believed that one should minimize his presence in the Sukkah to just the Sha’as Mitzvah, the momentary opportunities to engage in a Mitzvah such as eating, drinking, sleeping, and killing invading baby squirrels.

Reb Shmiel Kalbasavuah and Reb Yoisaph Katzky were not friends, but had a grudging respect for each other. Often, when one was learning Toirah the other looked on from a distance, not making a sound. But when they debated it could be raucous. More than one onlooker suggested that when their engaged in Machloikess they debated like cats and dogs.

Reb Shmiel had a different type of relationship with Reb Betzalel Kupkayk, in many ways quite the opposite of his relationship with Reb Yoisaph. Reb Shmiel was a mentor to Reb Yehoishaphat, instructing him in the intricacies of Toirah SheBichsav and Toirah SheBaalPeh. Shmiel and Reb Betzalel spent much time together learning, and also took many long walks together. They were so close, they even on occasion made Mei Raglayim under the same tree.

What can we learn from the life of such a Tzaddik?

There is an often quoted Mishnah in Avois that tells us, “Asei Lecha Rav, U’Knei Lecha Chazer”, “Establish for yourself a Rebbe, and purchase for yourself a friend”. What does that mean? Does the Mishah want us to construct an idol out of clay that we can follow blindly, or hire a Kirva to keep us company?

Rabboisai, at this complex time in human history, it seems that the Mishnah is giving us a lesson in essentials. There are many who lead. There are many who aspire to lead. There are some who take on leadership roles, but only reluctantly so. Can you follow every leader? What if a leader gives advice that does not make sense to you, such as attending Shul or a Simcha during the Coivid 19 epidemic? Should you follow simply because the person is your elder or an authority figure or was the Rebbe to your parents going all the way back to Europe??

Of course not. The Mishnah tells us “Asei Lecha”, “Establish for yourself”. Following a leader is not presented as a passive exercise. You do not simply follow someone because he has a long beard or nice Payis or a beautiful Arba Kanfois. Following a leader is an active exercise - you mast use your brain, your choice, your free will as to who you follow. If your Rebbe told you to eat Chazer, would you do it? If your Rebbe told you to jump off the Empire State Building, would you do it? If your Rebbe told your wife to wear a Sheytel with long hair, would she do it? If your Rebbe told you to use a smart phone, would you do it? No - you would get another Rebbe! So if your Rebbe tells you to meet with a densely populated group of people during a global pandemic, do you listen? Or do you use your Reboinoisheloilum-given brain and establish for yourself a different Rebbe, one who does not have his head all the way up his Bor.

Similarly, when it comes to choosing friends, are we supposed to be friendly with everyone we meet, as if we are putting Tfillin or perfect strangers on the street? Should we follow the crowd, especially if the crowd is encouraging you to act in ways that do not make logical sense? Should we engage in social activities because it is easier socially to conform? Or should we be more discerning, and if necessary, be willing to invest in the right friendships and relationships?

Reb Shmiel Kalbasavuah was indeed thoughtful in terms of how he spent his time and who he spent his time with. He was a figure of few words, but deliberate actions. When he spoke, people heard him. When he took action, people noticed. He was loyal and thoughtful. He was a grand companion. He was a scholar. He was an excellent Chavrusa. And he was a Mentch.

Reb Shmiel entered Shamayim quietly, as was his way. Proud and stubborn, slowly being eaten away by a combination of mortal ailments, even in his last days he was willing to gather his last energies to prevent someone from being Oiver on Baal Tashchis, Chass V’Sholom. Flesh is fleeting, life is fleeting, but the good that one does remains as a testament and model for others in this and future generations.

Yehi Zichroi Baruch

Ah Gutten Shabbos You Menuval

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Rabbi Pinky Schmeckelstein

Rosheshiva

Yeshivas Chipass Emmess